Managing Major Changes in Life

Happy Birthday Jamie (aka - "BOY")!! When I looked up November 16th on Wikipedia, there's honestly nothing of importance on this day. So I declare Jamie's birthday as the most significant event of this day!!!

So today's random Lesson in Leadership will hopefully help everyone in your work life, as well as your personal lives. Sorry for those that this is a repeat of an IBM Class (Christine!). Read carefully as there is a point to my rambling (this time!)

When bad things happen to us, we do have options on how to handle the situation. If you choose to merely be a follower in life, all of the options are available to you -- feel free to pick and choose as you wish. There are 5 Personal Options in the face of adversity - the first two are:

1. Wallow In It - We all have chosen this option. Seeking sympathy from someone and anyone for as long as we want. Later I will talk about how this is natural in many circumstances. But the longer you stay at this stage, the longer the past consumes you.
2. Whine About It - An easy option. Sometimes yes, we're in need of venting. But the definition of venting is "A means of escape or release from confinement". In terms of house building (a special of Birthday-Boy Jamie's) it's an opening permitting the escape of fumes, liquids, stinky bathrooms, etc. Basically the point of venting is to get rid of problems, not allow them to recycle themselves and eventually consume us. So again, whining is permitable, but moving forward is the ultimate goal.

But as a leader in society and if you wish other people to follow you, only three of these options exist.

1. Leave It - Walk away and forget about it. This is a positive option as a leader because the longer we focus on the past, the more time lost looking at the potential of the future. Leaving it can also include avoidance of a problem which might return later in life so caution must be observed by anyone selecting this option.
2. Change It - Some opportunities are presented with options of changing it. Sometimes we have to be in the right position to change it, but overall the attitude is correct in thinking of the future and how to make life better with the hand you've been dealt.
   
3. Accept It -The best option of all. Realizing that there's nothing you can do to change the problem but avoiding the problem isn't the best answer. So accept it and move on. Take a quick moment to say "well that sucks" but realize you're only going to stay miserable without acceptance.
   

So in my personal life, my very recent re-entry into the realm of being single once again... I feel I am well towards the stage of Accepting It! Yeah, you heard correctly - but rather than bore you with details, I challenge you to join me in moving forward with life and all that it has to offer. I thank God for the opportunity he has given me in the past, but I thank him more for the endless blessings I have yet to receive in life. Thanks for your concern, but life moves on.

Another thing that came up in my research today that I'd like to share is the widely-accepted philosophy on "The Five Stages of Grief". When news of a bad things arrives, every person goes through these 5 stages and we can only hope to get through the first three (all detrimental to a leadership mentality) as quickly as possible....

1. Denial - the first and obvious stage of disbelief.
2. Anger - upset first at the deliverer of bad news, then anyone within ear shot
3. Bargaining - while this is usually the longest of the first three phases (for some of the higher blood pressure folks, #2 might be a longer stay), it's not much better than the Denial Phase. Bargaining doesn't get to the end solution any faster, only prolongs the grief for the individual.
4. Depression/Withdrawal - At this point, the acceptance is starting and life can begin moving forward, although only slowly.
5. Acceptance - again the word to strive for is acceptance! The ability to realize ones INability to change the past is a powerful attribute. By realizing your limitations on your power to change the past (which is pretty much none unless you're Dr. Emmett Brown) you can focus your energy on looking forward!!

I hope I didn't bore you with my interesting way to tell you that a new life for me has begun! Besides, I hear that Britney is single again as well - so if anyone has her number, have her call me!

Song of the Day - So call it fate, karma, or even luck... but I seriously had just listened to Tommy (by The Who) and have been singing the lyrics to I'm Free. It's a great song and there's kind of a warped sense of truth to that now:) Read into that however you wish.

Video of the Day - In honor of the new Bond movie coming to theatres.... A list from Entertainment Weekly of the Top 10 worst Bond Girls!! Not something you see every day!

Webpage of the Day - A fun stick figure fighting game if you're bored....