Speeding Right Along

I hate cops. So I had rehearsal in La Crosse last night. We had a meeting of the Orchestra Committee scheduled last night after rehearsal with our Conductor, Executive Director, and our Personnel Director to address some concerns of the Orchestra. I decided to stay for it even though it meant delaying my commute and I wouldn't be getting back into Rochester till midnight or later. I was being a nice guy... right?

Meeting went fine and then I left. As I drove over the Big Blue Bridge in La Crosse over the Mighty Mississippi, I had already started to break realizing that momentum was taking me way too fast on the down side of the bridge. Too late... there was a speed trap sitting at the bottom waiting for me and I knew I was screwed. It's 30mph on the bridge, and 40 about 100 yards once you are off the bridge. I was doing 42 when I saw the cop.

So one of his tag team buddies pulled me over (there was another car pulled over about 2 minutes after me). Remember that this is at 11pm already. He was a "nice guy" and knocked it down to 40 in a 30 which I was accepting of. I don't get warnings, I've accepted that - plus with it being a speed trap, they were out for the kill.

I have a bad history of speeding tickets. BUT I'd like to remind everyone that for the past two months (almost two whole months), my record was clean for insurance purposes. They track speeding tickets for three years and it had been well over three since my last citation. So here I give you a list (as much in order as I can remember) of all my driving citations for your amusement this morning:

1) SPEEDING - I had my license less than a year and the cop was sitting on Forest Drive in Cedar Rapids on the last turn before approaching Washington High School (GO WARRIORS!!). He claimed I was going 42 in a 25 but a week later I tried to do 42 in my car on that same corner and about rolled the car. I think he was a lying dirt bag.
2) RUNNING A RED LIGHT - Summer after graduation before college (GO CYCLONES!!). We were late for the movie Judge Dredd and I hit a light pretty "pink" as the officer put it. Red and yellow don't make pink... they make orange. Idiot - doesn't even know his colors.
3) SPEEDING - While doing an internship here in Rochester, I spent the weekend in Ames, but thought I'd be a NICE GUY and go out of my way to see my parents on the Sunday before heading home. It was about 2 hours out of the way but worth it. On my way back to Rochester the pig pulled me over as soon as I had crossed the border into Minnesota.
4) SPEEDING - I was coming back the following summer (1999) for another internship at 2am with a car full of stuff that I would need for that summer. Luckily I had my wallet on me and I didn't have to dig through my car for everything.
5) SPEEDING - My last year at ISU. Damn DPS pulled me over at 3:30am when I was about 1/4 mile from my apartment. I had been practicing all night and was dead tired and no idea how fast I was going.
6) SPEEDING - My return trip from Kentucky to see Jeremy and Rachael (about 3 weeks before Elliott was born). Pig pulled me over in Indiana, about 5 miles from the Illinois border. My first speeding ticket that was in the daylight.
7) SPEEDING - Driving Mom's Blazer back from Rochester with Jeremy, Rachael and a screaming young Elliott in the car (pre-Al). On our way back to Iowa from Rochester, we were trying to catch up to mom and dad to get within radio contact to tell them to pull over for Elliott. Piggy didn't see it that way though.
8) SPEEDING - I was running home in Rochester after my last trip to Ireland (2003) to get paperwork for my Travel Report. It was 40 below that day and I just wanted to get home where it was warm. Pig pulled me over in front of my house on 19th Street NW.
9) WARNING - This one was dumb. He caught me doing "40" (I said I was going under 40) on a three lane one way right in front of the Brewery in La Crosse. I told him I thought the speed limit was 35 and he said it might be in Minnesota. I would have fought this one anyways as there was only one speed limit sign at that time on that road when I turned on and it was on the LEFT side of the road. Who looks over there for a speed limit sign. They have since moved it to the right side.
10) SPEEDING - Last night in La Crosse. I think I'm now "gold status" with the cops. Do I win the toaster yet?

So there you go - amuse yourselves in my tragedy. This week just keeps getting worse! I think speeding tickets should be tax deductible!! Anyway, be careful in La Crosse this week! They're out for blood..... or pig's feed.

Song of the Day - There were a couple that came to mind (Bob Marley and NWA come to mind.... anyone follow me?) but I'll stick to Inner Circle's famous Bad Boys that everyone knows from COPS.

Video of the Day - This video shows you what kind of geniuses I'm dealing with here.

Webpage of the Day - Dedicated to all of America's Finest Cops out there.... I salute you with this picture!!