Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. This is usually the dumbest holiday of the year but I have good reason to celebrate this year (first since 1998!!!). So today's "list" has a loving theme. Let's also remember that the PowerBall is at $300 Million so I decided to combine the two and I present to you today:
Kick Ass Things I Could Get Hazel For Next Valentine's Day When I Win The Lotto!!
1. Unlimited Supply of Dots for the rest of her life.
2. Barry Manalow for a day. Imagine having him travel around and sing wherever she goes? Plus a travel band to provide the background music. That'd be pretty cool and I'm sure she'd love that.
3. Full-Time Limo and Driver... no more complaining about me swerving all over the road. He'd wear the chauffeur's hat and all. She hates how I drive.
4. A Driveway with heaters to melt the snow and ice so no more shoveling (for her or me)
5. Position as part of the crew for the next filming of The Bachelor - her favorite show to annoy me
6. Unlimited clothes that have Iowa State colors and logos on them. She looks good in the Cardinal and Gold!!
7. A custom designed purse from Mr. Burberry himself. Whoever that is.
8. A Mini-Cooper for her awesome boyfriend to drive - convertible!
9. Her very own Polka band and pub for hanging out with friends whenever she wants. Ok, maybe this one's more for me but that'd be awesome!! Name it "Hazel's"
10. Chuck Norris as her body guard wherever she goes. He'd kick you in the Jimmy just for entertainment purposes.
11. A full week's worth of lessons on "How to watch and appreciate football" by John Madden himself (with coaches clicker of course)!
12. Her very own ice rink. I get to hire the Ice Hawks to play scrimmage games there when she's not using it
13. A spot in those T-Mobile commercials where they see if the minutes are enough... with Hazel and cell phones, it's never enough!!
14. Her own Superbowl Commercial to say hi to family and friends.
15. I wouldn't have to work so I could cook for her all day long. Or just hire a Master Chef to do it while I play video games all day!
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! It's actually kind of fun to celebrate this year now that I have a girlfriend (and a wonderful one at that!)
Song of the Day - On today's theme, it has to be "If I Had A 1,000,000 Dollars" by Barenaked Ladies. I could get her John Merz from Maine (and all them crazy Elephant Bones).... But not a real green dress... that's just cruel!
Video of the Day - I watched House of Wax last night. Now I'm being honest and unpartial here... the movie was bad, but definitely not the worst cheezy horror flick movie I've seen. I've seen far worse (Boo! and Amnity Horror come to mind) but yes, Paris Hilton has no acting ability. It definitely has it's moments with things jumping out and the plot is dumb and not really well explained. There were some instances of symbolism which I found interesting for a low-budget horror flick.
Webpage of the Day - Valentine's Day cards that I decided NOT to send to Hazel.... she can thank me later!
2 comments:
Hazel, just be glad you've never rode with Adam in a rental car. You have no idea how bad of a driver he can be.
I'm trying to picture Bigshow in a Mini-Cooper. It reminds me of that episode of the Simpsons where Nelson "haha"s a really tall guy in a little car. The tall guy makes Nelson parade around with his pants down and everyone "haha"s him. You know what I'm talking about don't you?
Hmm, number 15 looks like the easiest for you to do (on today's budget). After all, you already just play video games all day!
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